The UK Mobile Report

The Chimes of Big Ben - click & listen

As I write this I am aware that in 46-48 hours, 99 per cent of Europeans of drinking age will be suitably intoxicated and trying to phone or text their nearest and dearest. On Tuesday we will get the predictable press releases: "Records broken as billions text on new years eve". Am I bovvered? No, I would rather hear the time honoured chiming of Big Ben than the sounds of billions texting.

And I just so happen to have recorded them for posterity. This recording was done at midday a couple of months ago, so sorry about the sound of tourists who chattered near my microphone.

It was hard enough standing near the Houses of Parliament with an outstretched arm for 30 seconds carrying an unidentified device, as their security cameras gazed intently. But I am proud to have those famous chimes in the can, as it were. This recording is dedicated to my good Austrian friend Claudia who kindly introduced me to the sublime pleasure of the midday chimes. Sometimes it takes a visitor to remind us of the timeless charms of a great London landmark.

Happy New Year everyone.

Download DW_A0054.wav

This recording lasts 30 seconds. The first ten seconds is the preamble before the chimes, so be patient.

Second Life - your questions answered

Since writing about Vodafone going into Second Life (SL), the online virtual world thingy, people have asked me stuff like: What the hell's that then? And 'Just what exactly do they get up to in Second Life?  I've done a bit of digging and here are a few answers:

• SL was created by Linden Lab in San Francisco in 2003
• SL has over 1 million subscribers
• In geek-speak SL is a 'massively multiplayer online role-playing game'
• To you and me its a place where you can pretend to be someone else within the realms of what looks like a computer game. The only caveat is its not a game about winning, it's all about just hanging out really. Sims for real people if you like.
• Game players are called 'residents', their pretend personae are represented by avatars which can be a likeness, something new, or even animal like in form
• Residents live a life of sorts; doing stuff you might do in the real world - even getting married (sorry I have no inside info on the mechanics of this)
• Average age of residents is currently 30
• The creators have also created Teen Second Life as a separate enterprise
• You can do all manner of social stuff in SL but the hard core stuff like owning land and building and making stuff has to be paid for with real money - not a bad business plan eh?
• The currency is known as Linden dollars and there have even been disucssions about whether it is taxable (yawn)

Presumably Linden Lab run a fairly tight regime over their embryonic parallel world. It wouldn't look good if a Russian billionaire came on board and started buying up Linden Energy and then restricting access during the colder months of the Linden calendar just because he didn't like the kind of democracy being meted out by the SL hierarchy.

And now that SL has so much corporate interest it just wouldn't do if residents were allowed to organise anti-globalisation rallys or the like. Or should that be anti-virtualisation rallys?

Teleworking figures ramped by including White Van Man

Teleworking and mobile working is hyped up by vendors, according to a report by the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (no link sorry, the site is down).

In what looks like the most truthful report on the subject for years the CIPD says:

• teleworking is not viable for most employers
• figures are swelled by including van men and self-employed PC users
• most teleworkers do the odd day at home but are mostly based at the workplace
• casual teleworkers are prone to workaholism (Workaholics Anonymous anyone?)

Verdict: Everyone knows there's not much point in becoming a manager if you haven't got people to lord over. Even though staff often get more work done at home or 'on the road' they are missing the point of course. Work is about suffering with your co-workers and being made to watch senior managers enjoy their perks. The CIPD should be ashamed of this needless peeling off of the thin veneer of the emerging science of teleworking research.

If this doesn't make you smile you are probably dead

This could almost be an advert for a mobile phone network apart from the fact that if we start hugging strangers we might not need to make that vital call all the time....fancy a hug anyone?