The UK Mobile Report

Asda is giving them away, almost

Crap adverts, crap colour scheme, but very cheap phones

It's easy to be snobby about not shopping at ASDA but if you want a cheap pay-as-you-go phone as a second phone or for your kids then you can't do much better than patting your bum and heading down to the nearest store.

Phones are on sale starting at £5. I've been told you can also pick up a pair of underpants for a £1. Get in.

Here's the link to ASDA's online mobile shop.

ASDA. £5 mobiles. It doesn't get much more glamorous than this.

May is dream-time

The end of the season deserves better cliches than 'squeeky bum time'

Isn't this time of year brilliant? Well it is if your team is still in there with a chance and beating Man U to boot. If you are winning or thereabouts this is basically the most exciting time of year. You float from one major fixture to another. Little else matters. And then on the day of the game you are in game-zone. All actions are performed in relation to TTKO - Time To Kick Off.

Whatever you are doing it's pretty meaningless; just stuff you are doing to pass the time before you make you way to the game or to the pub to watch it. Once the game starts it is like being thrown into the surf of a tempestuous sea. Your emotions are tossed this way and that until you are thrown 90 minutes later onto the rocks of destruction or the beach of sweet success.

They say there are only seven different narratives in the movies. The same can probably be said about games of football. But in truth every game has its own story, sub-narratives withing the seven archetypes.

But the end of the season has its own narrative. It's the days of reckoning where dreams must face realities or occasionally be delivered signed and sealed from the great sports results reader in the sky.

Coming up: Man U v Barcelona (come on Barca!); Chelsea v Liverpool (get in you Blues); Man U v West Ham (Turn them into Ham you Hammers); Newcastle v Chelsea (move over Magpies).....and so it goes on. Then we go to Super Saturday with the final games of Wigan v Man U, and Chelsea v Bolton played simultaneosly, which may have us on the edge of our seats to the last.

And that's before the finale of finales in Moscow later in the month.

Tesco gets jiggy wid it

Tesco - the store that sells you everything you will ever need in life (and then some) - is to sell music downloads.

Tesco Digital (yawn) will have 3.3m tracks most of which, naturally, you will never have heard of or want.

And what a tease - it isn't giving any pricing details yet. You don't have to be a brain surgeon to predict somewhere around 70p per track I reckon. But maybe being Tesco it will pitch in just below everyone else.

It plans to offer video and games too - the whiley fox.

Iphone slashed by 100 quids

Glad you waited?

O2 is cutting the price of the iPhone by £100 to £169 to make you want it more.

But you don't want it because there is a 3G iPhone just round the corner, and who wants to be stuck with an older version when that happens?